On the HUGE plus side: I took a shower this morning, I ran the water, got into the shower, soaped up and rinsed off and got OUT of the shower. While I was drying my legs were shaking so hard – I just don’t have the stamina that I used to have – but doing stuff like taking a shower on my own is how I WILL create the stamina that I need.
Yesterday I had a visit with my oncologist and, his exact words (as he shook my hand) were, “Congratulations on surviving cancer…” The tumor in my spine is officially gone. I am in remission, and that is amazing news! From this point I have doctor visits ever 3 months, and a scan every 6 months. …
I don’t think I can actually go out into the snow, I slip and fall SO easily, but maybe Andy will bring me in a bowl of it and I can play around with that? I hope as it gets warmer my legs will grow stronger and I’ll be walking outside without a cane in the Springtime!
So although I am still light years from where I want to be, I do feel myself getting better every day, and that is almost ENTIRELY due to the hard work of Andy and our friends. (Of course, the doctors and nurses had something to do with it, I’m speaking pretty much about at-home help…)
I still can’t walk easily, my legs are numb and I almost fall all the time. Almost. That’s a very important word. I don’t get downstairs as often as I’d like due to balance and exhaustion issues, but I do what I can and I walk around upstairs quite a bit each day. The more I walk, the better my legs feel! I cannot WAIT for warmer weather so I can walk outside!!
I think I’m going to try to make it downstairs today, just for the change of scenery and maybe to watch a movie with Andy.
As I’ve discussed earlier, my mind wants to be fully well TODAY, but my body disagrees with that plan and insists on a few extra months.
So my patience is shot, I’ve watched EVERY episode of Friends and Forensic Files, my hair is SLOWLY growing back, but I’m looking VERY hip right now.
So they tracked me down and I’m once again in captivity at the hospital. I had missed one of my chemo sessions when Gerry died, I just didn’t have the heart (or soul) to undergo chemo that week, so it set me back and my doctor felt the best time time to make up that…
All I know is that I’m exhausted, in pain, and my balance is for shit — but less so than just a few short weeks ago!
For months I felt dizzy just sitting upright, which is the main reason I hadn’t been blogging. But now I’m feeling strong enough to commit to blogging about my Lymphoma recovery.
It’s only taken me over six admissions to hit upon a recipe for a much more positive sleep experience; this time I brought my own pillow and quilt, and THIS has allowed me to have one of the better night’s sleep at St. John’s.
The thin cotton blankets they use here are SO puny, even stacking several of them up means a lot of fussing and rearranging. My good ol’ target quilt works beautifully and STAYS PUT for a nice night’s sleep.
And pillows? I need my pillow from home, and I have it now, and I’m happy. And I didn’t even make Kathleen drive 25 miles out of her way to go get it…
I have no idea, when this whole “cancer” thing is done, whether my body will be as it was before. I’m getting a growing sense that, like Gerry, I will ALWAYS carry the pain of the tumor in my back and the damage done by it’s growth into two vertebrae. Will I always be on pain meds to deal with the constant bone & spine pain? I guess these are things that will be revealed I I continue with my recovery. Which is a lovely word.