But I have a big decision to make. Should I get a Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT). Gerry had one in 2007, and they’re NOT FUN. It would mean going back into the hospital for at least 30 days, and right now the best doner that we’ve found so far is Max! There are millions of doners in the registry, though, so they’re searching to see if there might be a better match.
It feels as though I’ve been in UM Hospital for a week, but it’s only been 4 days. They’re exceptional here, and I may be most impressed with my physical therapist. He knows how to get me to do good, steady work, and is steady with his praise. Today he said I’d shown so much…
As my recovery progresses, I find that I am ‘testing myself’ many times each week to quantify how much independence I’ve recovered. A few months ago I was sleeping around 18 hours a day. I’d sleep 12 hours at night, and take two naps during the day. I needed all that sleep, but now I’m…
It’s a good season of GOT, Gerry would have loved it. I’m loving it. It seems a lovely farewell to a beloved TV series; I wish I had had time to give Gerry the same kind of farewell. I still wake up in a cold sweat from dreams about Gerry dying with no one around him but medical staff, no family, no me. I was functionally immobile from my reaction to strong chemo, but that doesn’t lessen my guilt at not being WITH him at the end. Just because you know something’s out of your control doesn’t necessarily lessen the guilt.
Yesterday I had a visit with my oncologist and, his exact words (as he shook my hand) were, “Congratulations on surviving cancer…” The tumor in my spine is officially gone. I am in remission, and that is amazing news! From this point I have doctor visits ever 3 months, and a scan every 6 months. …
So although I am still light years from where I want to be, I do feel myself getting better every day, and that is almost ENTIRELY due to the hard work of Andy and our friends. (Of course, the doctors and nurses had something to do with it, I’m speaking pretty much about at-home help…)
I still can’t walk easily, my legs are numb and I almost fall all the time. Almost. That’s a very important word. I don’t get downstairs as often as I’d like due to balance and exhaustion issues, but I do what I can and I walk around upstairs quite a bit each day. The more I walk, the better my legs feel! I cannot WAIT for warmer weather so I can walk outside!!
So my patience is shot, I’ve watched EVERY episode of Friends and Forensic Files, my hair is SLOWLY growing back, but I’m looking VERY hip right now.
All I know is that I’m exhausted, in pain, and my balance is for shit — but less so than just a few short weeks ago!
For months I felt dizzy just sitting upright, which is the main reason I hadn’t been blogging. But now I’m feeling strong enough to commit to blogging about my Lymphoma recovery.
It’s only taken me over six admissions to hit upon a recipe for a much more positive sleep experience; this time I brought my own pillow and quilt, and THIS has allowed me to have one of the better night’s sleep at St. John’s.
The thin cotton blankets they use here are SO puny, even stacking several of them up means a lot of fussing and rearranging. My good ol’ target quilt works beautifully and STAYS PUT for a nice night’s sleep.
And pillows? I need my pillow from home, and I have it now, and I’m happy. And I didn’t even make Kathleen drive 25 miles out of her way to go get it…
I have no idea, when this whole “cancer” thing is done, whether my body will be as it was before. I’m getting a growing sense that, like Gerry, I will ALWAYS carry the pain of the tumor in my back and the damage done by it’s growth into two vertebrae. Will I always be on pain meds to deal with the constant bone & spine pain? I guess these are things that will be revealed I I continue with my recovery. Which is a lovely word.