Exhaustion, et al

This is straight up complaining.  I apologize in advance, please feel free to deposit your own current nagging annoyances in the comments section and we’ll all feel better for having dumped a bit.

Tomorrow I have a nice, special book giveaway; but today I kvetch.  If you’ve noticed I’ve been quiet, it’s for 3 reasons:

1) I’m knee and elbow deep in History on Two Needles, and it’s going REALLY well!  I’m putting the kickstarter funds to excellent use licensing images, upgrading InDesign, and hiring photo assistance.  Life is good.

2) I’m friggin’ exhausted.  For the past few months my doctor’s been phasing me off of prednisone, and I’m not hungry enough to eat the cat anymore (the cat is relieved) but the Xolaire doesn’t seem to be filling in the gap.  I notice each day is a bit harder and harder on the bike – breathing is becoming more difficult.  Damn.

3) Slow pain.  Bad breathing leads to less biking, less biking leads to increase in pain, and it all happens so slowly that if I didn’t keep track of it I wouldn’t believe it.  But there it is.  My fibro is creeping up, it’s getting worse. It scares me.

Yesterday a friend was visiting from out of town, I met her on my bike and she and her kids and I went to playground.  The kids ran around, I didn’t do much (a little pushing, some kid lifting, nothing really!)  Then she drove to my house while I rode my bike.

When I pulled up behind her on my bike – after maybe 3 total miles of riding – I was absolutely wiped out.  We did a quick drive around the ‘hood and stopped at my favorite local fabric store, and that brief bit of walking just did me in.  I feel like I’m 60.  I know this deep, deep exhaustion stems from the breathing, but I just don’t know if I can face going back on prednisone.

My options seem to be:

  1. Happy and exhausted; or
  2. Fat, pissed off and able to breath.

Seriously, though, in the scheme of life this is an annoyance, but life is still damned good.  DAMNED good.  And Gerry’s making tuna salad, so how bad can things be?