Once again, a long, long period of time has transpired between my last blog post and this one. I’m not usually so foot-draggy, and it’s not intentional (or for lack of thought – I think about my blog quite a lot!)
No, I’ve been MIA for a simple reason: Exhaustion. Pain. Just feeling – blah.
It’s that feeling o’ fear (fact: not as scary when I add the apostrophe) that overwhelms me when I realize our insurance will be running out in June.
Perhaps it’s the second o’ outright terror when I realize (after looking over several insurance applications) that I’m pretty much un-insurable.
It’s unnerving, but I try not to let it become too overwhelming. I think about how lucky I am that we actually HAVE insurance now – when I needed it to be diagnosed – and even though I’ve hit a bit of a back-slide, I DO feel light years better than I did in November, December and part of January.
So imagine how surprised I was to read that darned Twitterscope (it’s SO consistently on the money that I’ve just accepted that Astrologist Rick Levine must be an avid blog reader of mine and tailors the forecast to me, personally)
Here’s what today’s scope said;
Your self-image might be a bit distorted today, especially if you are experiencing physical symptoms that are hard to diagnose.
You are so sensitive now that subtle disturbances in your environment can manifest as inflammation or pain. Instead of covering up the discomfort, find the source and eliminate it.
Maintaining a positive attitude is currently your best strategy to feeling better.
So perhaps that’s it – distorted self perception – seeing myself as weaker and sicker than I really am? Or, is it that I’m foolishly seeing myself as healthier than I am? My mind is a confused mess.
Yes, I am painfully sensitive now – physically, mentally and emotionally, that’s for darned sure.
And I do look for the source of this – thing. Look, look, look. And I try to maintain a positive attitude. Really, I do.
But I am feeling a little too sensitive. When someone writes to tell me I should meditate, I want to scream, “But I DO!”
And then I ask myself, “How would they know that, I don’t talk about it on my blog…”
So, just know that I do, and that I prefer not to write about it, okay? And that I appreciate your thoughtfulness and care – I appreciate it VERY much.
HoTN
Just when you thought you’d NEVER see another History on Two Needles project, I’ve been working up a nice one for old Queen Bess. It’s my Grispholm Jacket, based on a painting thought to be of QE1.
I love this piece; I love the mannish look of it, and the interesting lower arms and collar detail.
I will work the collar in the same fabric as the lower sleeves, not in fur, and I’m making the body a bit more fitted. It looks more fitted than it will ultimately be on the mannequin, it hasn’t been blocked yet, and this is a fabric that REALLY loosens up when blocked
THIS KIND OF PROJECT
DEMANDS A SWATCH!
It’s turning out to be a fun knit, the hip shaping takes place evenly across the work, but the bust shaping is located in one point, which forces the fabric to move in interesting ways. I love to shape like this, it’s the same way I think about dress patterns (and costumes!)
The armholes are a cross between a raglan and a set in sleeve, it’s a shape I really like because it creates a very easy armscye (easy to wear), and the shaping is simpler than a traditional armhole shaping.
I’m just moving into the collar now, it will be worked as short rows and I hope to capture the nice shape of the collar in the photo. I’m still puzzling over the best way to attack the sleeves. I’d LOVE to work them from the top down, but I need to think hard about that.
So, all in all I’m fortunate to have a job that I can do in a semi-prone position. Now if only it carried benefits…
12 Comments:
Nice shaping, Annie 🙂 I love the kettle died yarns these days, the varigation in the yarn colors just seems "nicer" to me than the solid dies.
This whole insurance things is a bummer. I'm feeling sold out by my government.
No advice for you, Annie, from this longtime reader, just total heartfelt sympathy for what you're going through and admiration for your strength and perseverance. (Not to mention cheers for your talent — that jacket is gorgeous.)
hi annie:)
maybe you mite remember me from the Knit chat we used to have on about.com?
waves:::
i hate to hear that your feeling so poorly.
Please check out what you can about the PHMiracle & Dr Young, i have heard him speak in public & really enjoyed him & the info he has to share. I who am known to be very antsy in my seat(anxiety) sat listening with relative ease..look/listen to this Youtube & find what else you can about him & this way of (in my words) balancing the inner body.
Please feel better!
peace&blessings,
mary~
p.s.let me know what you think
@[email protected]
On the off chance that you haven't seen this site yet:
http://www.mchamn.com/index.html
It's a MN non-profit that helps "Minnesota residents who have been turned down for health insurance by the private market, due to pre-existing health conditions".
Maybe they'll be able to help you.
I want to knit that jacket! It's beautiful even without sleeves.
Hugs to you! From reading your blog, I know you're a master at putting one foot in front of the other even when things are very hard. You'll find a way through this one, too.
I *love* this jacket! Perhaps knitting is the best way through this?
THinking of you and yours.
For the sleeve, what about a sock-heel type shoulder cap like on this sweater:
http://www.theretroknittingcompany.co.uk/images/dec15/bestway1440a.gif
It can fit this deeper armseye and match the original's peak and seaming.
Craft people need to form their own insurance company, alot of craft people suffer with problems,and use their craft for relief, I have fibro an severe migraines,, Knitters Unite!!I can guess we can allow the crocheters in too.
This jacket is AWESOME–and I rarely use that word!!! I LOVE it. I agree about the insurance for the knitting/crochet artistes, and in fact, why not for all artistes??Or what about the government coming up with a viable solution?? There has to be one that we can all live with. I had to drop my really GOOD insurance and go with a so-so one because of the exorbitant cost but at least I had an option to have insurance. Well, keep on Annie and hang in there! Roz
Hi Annie, Haven't been by for some time but stopped by today to hear your pain. Maybe it's a sign. I found a free solution to many of my problems. Simple and effective but you have to do it. If you would like more info I'm happy to share but I will not waste your time here if you are not. Best wishes to you.
~ ~Ahrisha~ ~
Gorgeous jacket. Love the look of the shaping. I really sympathise with you. I suffer from chronic neck/back pain and take 20 strong pain killers every day. And I'm tired and in pain all hte time. Knitting is okay as I can recline my comfy chair slightly and it takes the edge of the pain but pattern typing is not good. HOpe you feel better soon.
Gorgeous jacket – in fact, I think it would make a great vest also. I can empathize with you about the pain & worry that comes with FMS. I am sharing a link that my partner sent to me to a NYT blog about FMS with several really interesting links therein: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/03/the-voices-of-fibromyalgia/?hp
Wait – insurance runs out? I thought the point of insurance was that if you keep paying for it, it keeps covering any new conditions that pop up since you started paying for it.
Sarah – Our insurance is partially covered by Gerry’s union (we’re part of their group) and they’ve kept us in the group for 2 years longer than they needed to. However, they’re not renewing us into the group this June, so we have to do COBRA (prohibitively expensive for us) or find insurance (impossible for me) It’s a dilemma.
Regarding insurance, don’t know if there is anything of use to you here, but: many affinity organizations offer group health insurance. I do not know the details of coverage nor the costs, but you might want to look into any relevant affinity groups. The American Craft Council offers group insurance to members at the Professsional level, see http://www.craftcouncil.org/html/join/main.shtml
[As another example, the American Association of Woodturners offers group health; http://www.woodturner.org/org/mbrship/insurance/health.htm ] Sadly, neither TNNA nor TKGA offer access to group health policies, as far as I can tell from their websites. But there might be other similar groups out there of use to you.
Also, our local community college used to offer student health insurance that could be extended to families for an additional fee. All one needed to do for eligibility was to enroll for a course. There might be something like that available to you in your area.
Finally, Consumer Reports has useful articles about things to watch out for, and customer ratings of various insurance plans, most recently May 09 and Sept 09. (Back issues are available at most libraries.)
I am so looking forward to your HOTN book. I really enjoyed the Black Prince Hood and enjoyed trying out some of the techniques which I had never done before. Your patterns have a sense of the sculptural that I really enjoy.