Separation Anxiety

The other day as I was furiously knitting away, finishing up something to send out to some entity, Max – who was drawing a picture on the floor, admiring his handiwork – looked up at me and asked, “Mommy, do you ever feel sad to send your work away?”

I had never thought of it in such a frank way. I definitely feel relief, self-congratulations, pride (if I’ve done a good job) and a little anxiety (if I’m not 100% happy with my work…) But sadness?

I guess I disassociate myself from the work – or I’ve learned to do that through all of the costuming / styling / magazine work that I’ve done in my life. I try to love what I create, but not fall in love with it.

And yes, I am sad to see my work go away…

I just sent a big box to NYC, to my editor at Potter, a box full of sweaters for Romantic Hand Knits. Not all of the sweaters (damn!) but most of them. I have some that I’m still tweaking here, some that have yet to arrive (yikes!) and – I’m ashamed to admit it – two pieces that I have yet to start. Actually, I have started AND finished them, but I’m unhappy with them so I’m going to rework them this weekend. The photo shoot has yet to be arranged (as far as I know) but I know they want to set it up for July if possible. Knit like the wind!

I talked my editor into 2 hats – a wide/oval brimmed one, and a nice little cloche in a lace pattern. Here’s the latter, with no trimming or ribbon, just the wired blank. I’m going to make up some nice flowers on pins that we can add to the hats at the shoot (and also maybe use them as accessories on other pieces?)

I also FINALLY got around to lengthening the lace peplum surplice. Here it is, surrounded by my family. They seem pleased with it (the goat is certainly happy…)

Speaking of my family, tomorrow would be my brother’s wedding anniversary. I haven’t been as in touch with his wife in the past few months as I should have been – just me being busy and awkward. I’ll give her a call tonight and tell her that we love her (Hannah is absolutely NUTS about her!)

And, also speaking of family, I’ve been reading a wonderful book called Hillbilly Gothic by Adrienne Martini. She and I actually exchanged copies of our books – she wrote and said that after reading my blog she though I might enjoy her book. It’s funny, she could be from my dad’s side of the family (they have kids younger than my mom’s side of the family…) and much of her book revolves around Parkersburg, WV (my dad’s home town, the place where my parents met during the war and married). At any rate, I’ve been enjoying reading it as I go to bed at night – a nice release from the knitting stress.

Last night I allowed myself to get so tied up in knots over finishing some items that I never went to bed. Not at all. As of now I’ve been up since yesterday morning. This is VERY unlike me – I’m sort of a sleep health maniac – and even in college I only pulled ONE all-nighter. But I just kept knitting away last night, not really paying attention to the time until it was suddenly 3:30 and Gerry was leaving for work. Then I thought, “I’ll knit a bit more, then sleep for a few hours before I get the kids up for camp…” but I never went to bed. Now that the box is off to Potter I will sleep tonight – then start knitting in earnest (once again) tomorrow.

Another hat and some gloves tomorrow – and I still feel incredibly lucky to get to do this!

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