Gerry, Get Off The Bed

My breathing’s been bad for about a week now – VERY bad in the last few days – and I’d chalked it up to all the running around for Max’s party and my ‘date’ with Gerry on Saturday.

But last night I couldn’t pretend any longer. It was seriously difficult to get a breath.

So this morning – after the kids went to school – we made an appt with a pullmanologist here in St. Paul for tomorrow (FINALLY!)

But still, my breathing was rough and shallow and all the things we’re warned to watch for.

So our regular doc suggested I go to the ER, which I did, and after 4 nebulizer treatments and some xrays (no pneumonia!) I’m feeling shaky.

This was the first time I’d visited an ER for asthma and had to WAIT (how odd…)

Usually if breathing is bad, you’re triaged immediately and go in first at an ER.

By the time I was called in (after a wait of an hour) my breathing was REALLY ratty. I think I had to have so many neb treatments because of the wait. I felt dizzy – at the point of passing out. Scary.

I’ve only passed out with this once before – a long time ago. It wasn’t great for Gerry to have to see it, either. He has enough to worry about without me having ‘episodes.’

Of course, I knitted all the time I was waiting – it helps to calm me, and keeps my breathing rhythmic. I got the feeling some of the folks thought I must not be terribly serious if I were able to knit (St st, which I could do blindfolded, is so taxing, you know…)

I think I’m going to take a few days to rest and not worry about doing stuff.

Yes, I was stupid and ignored warning signs, but the party was so important to Max, and Gerry had been so looking forward to the Blue State Ball. And both were important to me, too.

On a side note, during a Q&A I raised my hand to ask Steph a question and she called me “Sir” – and everyone laughed – and I was so embarrassed / ashamed that I told her “Never mind…”

Which made me sound like Emily Latella, and even more folks laughed.

I’m a tall woman with short hair, I should be used to being called “Sir” by now (especially when folks are trying to see me through stage lighting) but I felt so exposed – so gargantuan.

It was brief time travel trip back to Jr. High when I was taller than many teachers and just about all the students, and I learned that society will forgive a woman a lot – but not taking up too much space. It’s changing. Slowly.

And I’m a head taller than my husband now. A couple masquerading as a sight gag.

There’s nothing coming up in the immediate future so I’ll be sleeping and resting. It will be very good to see the lung doc tomorrow and get myself on a regime that may be able to take me through Winter.

The problem, as I see it, is the “warmer” weather (high 30’s) we’ve been having, and my lungs reacting to the new humidity. (Humidity & cold are evil hard for my lungs, the warm air raised the humidity, and – well – yes it’s ALL cold here…)

So I’ll see you in a few days. I’ll be doing a lot of ‘sitting-up-sleeping’ and coughing up many lungs – just call me Mimi (I don’t know why…)

I’ll leave you with two thoughts that invaded my half awake mind at 3:00 am when I was up, surfing channels and trying to breathe.

1) I wonder if it was intentional to have Cheerio’s be a sponsor of “Serial Mom?”

2) It seemed an unsettling juxtaposition to have the Sheer Cover Makeup infomercial (total ripoff of Bare Escentuals) right after Forensic Files on TRU TV.

Food for thought.

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About Annie

I knit weird and I enjoy showing others how to find the joy and intuitiveness within their OWN knitting! We don't knit to make THINGS, we knit to make OURSELVES HAPPY!

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