Half Here, Half Gone

So we’re in Marietta at the Holiday Inn. We arrived last night just in time for the kids to dive into the pool, Atticus to run wild across the big, big yard and Gerry and I to collapse into the bed. Why on earth is driving so tiring?

This morning I went over to the nursing home to see Jan, she was subdued, but also brighter than I had feared. Her room is lovely, the facility is very nice and she has a good amount of privacy and light.

But she’s isolated from all of her friends at the hospital (where she worked for 35 years) and I can tell that she misses the brief drop-ins from sister nurses.

We’d anticipated staying until Monday, but I think I’m going to extend our stay a day just to help her settle in better and to do what little I can. I only wish I could be down here longer, but life is full of requirements and right now I have to be home (St. Paul) for various reasons. Gerry and the kids certainly need to be home.

This whole thing feels so surreal. It’s like deja vu, when I was so worried about my mom a few years ago and then my brother suddenly passed. Now I’ve been so concerned with Gerry and suddenly Jan seems to be moving faster and farther than I’d thought she would toward an ending.

With her current illness, Jan looks so much like my Grandma Williams, who died with I was 10 and she was 81. Here she is today with Joyce.

I’m very hopeful that I’ll be able to talk with at least one of her doctors tomorrow to get a better handle on exactly where she stands (or lays) I’m just very, very tired right now, sad and heartsick. This evening we went to the River Cafe for dinner, on the Ohio river, where we could eat outside with the dog and have a beer. A small, delightful, pleasure.

But the kids are back from the pool, Gerry even went in for a dip, Atticus is asleep on the bed (Gerry took him and the kids over to Blennerhassett Island today while I stayed with Jan & her sister in law, Joyce) & On The Town is on TV. Gerry’s not thrilled, but I get to watch a wonderful musical with the kids and refresh myself a bit.

On a side note, Joyce says that Hannah looks amazingly like my mother, which I have always thought. It’s nice to hear that from someone else!

I would give anything to be home. I would give a lot to stay here, too. Singin’ In The Rain is coming on, life really is very good.

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