It’s official, I do NOT have Swine Flu. The test was negative, and after 2 days off Hannah is back at school today.
It’s true that I’ve had precious little appetite for weeks (except for a chocolate croissant that I HAD to have this weekend) so I’m certain the P’zone will change that. I feel as though I gain 20 lbs every time I’m on it. Shannon‘s recommended her accupuncturist in Cleveland, and I think I’ll make an appt when I’m in that town in late May. Right now I’m setting up an appt with someone my doctor recommended, just a few blocks from my house.
When I watch “What Not To Wear” – which I love – and I fantasize about them going through my own closet (admit it, you do too!) I can just hear Clinton reading me the riot act about my elastic waisted skirts and pants. I’d hang my head in shame, he’d tell me, “Elastic waists are EVIL!”, and Stacy would pipe up, “They allow you to gain weight and NEVER KNOW IT!”
And I’d say, very quietly (breathlessly?) “But they allow me to breathe, too…”
If I had to take in or let out the waists of my garments every time my breathing took a nose dive or upswing, my sewing machine would never be put away. Some days – like this week – even a bra is too much. It’s unsettling how the small pressure of a strip of elastic can make me feel as though I’m being waterboarded.
All the chatter about that insidious torture hits home with me so deeply. When I can’t breathe, when I have that horrible 1-second gap between when I thought I’d have air in my lungs, and when I actually DO have air, the panic can be overwhelming.
Anyone who’s ever experienced lack of air understands the fear, the adreneline (not in a good way) and the immediate deep depression one falls (sometimes just for a few minutes) at feeling so close to not being able to take any more breaths. I guess there might be exhilleration at living when it’s all over, but I just wait for the next gasping episode. I hate steps.
I’ve had a long fear of falling into a river in a car – I drive across bridges with my windows open and my PT cruiser was my first car with electric windows for just that reason. Water can be fearsome. Just ask Max when I tell him to shower.
I’ve been finishing up an independent crochet project for a book the Stitch Coop is putting together.
I’m very happy with it – it’s a car-seat blanket (with a slit for the between-the-legs buckle to fit) and I’ll make a matching hat and booties. And it’s due – tomorrow. Better get hooking!
I’ve named it Blanche because it’s white (I liked the aluminum better) and it depends on the kindness of strangers. It has a smaller screen (of course I liked the bigger one better…) but it’s LIGHTER, and that will make it easier for travel. And it’s lovely and fast.
And I’m all about lightweight travel these days.