Missing the Guy

I’m missing Gerry something awful on this trip. Do I call? No, not as much as I should.

I called yesterday just as he was leaving MN Oncology for his monthly drip and I was pulling into the customs lane to re-enter the US for my doc’s visit. (Sorry, Ma’am, you cannot be on the cell phone while in this lane…)

But I miss Gerry. He’s so funny, so calm and loving and just wonderful. I miss seeing him, I miss kicking him in my sleep and I even miss the snoring. He would certain have enjoyed seeing this huge Canadian beehive going by (the bees must be HUGE up here…)

Well, starting Friday night I’ll have that again (hey Shan!) but no kicking. Dang. (well, she’ll probably kick ME when she reads this…)

This trip has encouraged me to do many things with the kids I’d been hesitant about (well, I guess I had a reason) and now feel we can do as a family.

I was so homesick last night I got misty when the waitress put Land O Lakes butter in front of me. That’s iced tea, BTW.

Camping is big among the things I’d like our family to do.

I’ve never camped, neither has Gerry, but we’re not delicate sorts (except for the cancer and asthma… and sciatica… and crushed vertebrae… and knee and shoulder problems… and allergies…) I know there are places like Rockywold/Deephaven camps in MN, and it’s high time I looked them up and WENT there with the family. Any suggestions?

I’m in Alexandria Bay, NY, at the Rockledge Motel ($55 rooms with wifi, fridge, microwave & cable – lovely!)

I’m in a spectacularly beautiful area, and I keep thinking how much Gerry and the kids would love this.

I came for the River Hospital Clinic (thanks doc Cindy!) to get my breathing going again, and stayed for the beauty. And the inexpensive hotel room.

Across the street there’s Keewayden State Park where folks can camp in tents. We could do that. We don’t really know HOW (meaning, we haven’t experienced the learning curve, which I’m sure isn’t terribly daunting) but it’s something we SHOULD do while the kids are still young enough to be our ‘cubs’

Trips can be hard – this one, breathing aside, has been wonderful. Missing the family is bad, but discovering things I want to do with them when I’m home is a good trade off.

This trip is a long one, though (I spent a good part of last night rearranging my luggage.)

One thing which isn’t fun & doesn’t feel good when it happens, but is necessary for growth, is facing things I do wrong as a teacher. And there are MANY! The fact that I think I’m good at what I do in no way means I think there aren’t hundreds – thousands – of things I could be doing better.

I ponder what I’ve done so far in classes that could have been better. I do take mental notes and later, after class, try to rethink scenarios and what I may have done differently. Really. Sometimes too much.

I strive for a nice mixture of off-the-cuff, casual humor, lighting on different things folks have done in the class, interspersed with definite must-teach-this-certain-point moments in the class.

I shush folks, which is a mixed blessing. It makes it easier for others to hear in the class, and keeps me on track. But I know shushing doesn’t feel good when it happens to you.

I have learned that the more tired I am, or the worse my breathing is, the more I tend to shush. This makes sense, but doesn’t make it easier.

I try to do it with fun, with love, “Ladies… ladies… Dear ladies…” but, as I said, it’s not always fun to hear.

Well, I know my kids don’t always like to hear me shushing (or mom-ing) them, yet I do. And I don’t see myself as mom to my students, not entirely, but I do just a little bit.

So time alone on the road is good for soul-searching, for meditation, for thinking and trying to improve. Squam gave me a lot of food for that – much of the growth happens after the fact, but it’s nice t know that doors are left open so that growth can be experienced by all parties again at a later date. Here’s the mountain top I visited – proof! Of course, I took a tram…

Geeze, Louise – did I take a profound pill today? See what a good night’s rest will do to me?

I took my old standby, Alka Seltzer Night Time Cold, which allows me to breathe and sleep (quite a parlor trick) and now I’m headed off to Toronto for a few days at Naked Sheep! Yay!

If you’re in the Toronto area and would like to take a class with me, I think there are some spots open.

I’m teaching the Universal Mitered Bag tomorrow afternoon, Combo knitting tomorrow night and Thurs afternoon. Check out the classes and sign up – I’d love to see you (and NOT shush you – I hope!)

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