I’m feeling like I’m going through so many changes that it’s hard to know which end is up. I swear, I have to write notes on my hand to change my underwear most days.
Life is better than it was in December when I was writhing in agony most days. So don’t take this post as a complaining holler. It’s more along the lines of a complaining whine.
I just feel – unsettled – confused – unsettled (did I already say that?) and I’m struggling to find my emotional and mental balance right now.
That’s part of why I haven’t blogged.
We’ve also had a hell of a week.
- Our health insurance is expiring in June, which sucks. Gerry and the kids will be okay (G’s on SSI, so he’ll be on Medicare and the kids are covered in the same manner with MN care) but I won’t be covered, so we’re looking for something in that realm.
- Our roof has a leak and the wall in Hannah’s room looks like it has a crawling skin disease with the water damage.
- We’ve learned this week that Hannah needs some orthodontia which is not covered by our very basic dental insurance, so we’ve made an appointment to take her to the U of MN Orthodontia for a screening – first opening in late March.
- We just had a knock at the door from the gas company. Apparently there’s a leak in front of our house. (YAY!)
They’re coming back later to fix it.
- I just haven’t felt “present” at my online class chats this week. I’ve left a few early because of pain, and my focus is bad. It puts a cloud over many other things I’m currently doing.
I swear, if the 2 round trip airline tickets to Ireland weren’t already paid for (Max & I are traveling on Frequent Flier miles, Gerry & Hannah’s cost $800 each), and the entire trip planned out, I might consider canceling it. Naah.
However, in my heart of hearts I know that life is short and the opportunity to take the family to Donegal for 3 weeks for $2,000 doesn’t happen every day.
See, I can rationalize anything – it’s a gift.
Fibro Now, Fibro Tomorrow, Fibro Forever
The truth is, as much as I’d love to think that Vit D3, a wheat-free diet, regular exercise and the other good stuff I’ve been doing to/for my body is a panacea for my new friend, fibromyalgia, I’m finding that the pain continues to come by and hang out for a day or so each week.
The brain confusion lingers, too, and there are some afternoons when the best I can manage are a few games of Tetris. (I wonder if anyone’s considered using Tetris as a diagnostic tool.)
This slow realization that I’m dealing with a chronic condition (dur…) and not just a brief excursion into Fibro-Land (it’s about 10 miles from Lego-land), has been very difficult for my brain to process.
And very difficult emotionally, too. I feel like I’m supposed to be the strength, the constant, the rock here in the family. But many evenings it’s my daughter who brings me tea and my husband-with-cancer who brings me dinner. Okay, every evening he fixes dinner – it’s what he does…
Then there’s always the chance that I might be using the whole thing as a bit of an excuse for not getting more work done.
Can these all be true? Probably a teeny bit of each of the above points is valid.
Online Class Mention
(avert your eyes)
I’m busy right now managing the three classes I have going on, monitoring the free class I just set up, and creating more.
Yes, the class that I offered last week to 20 folks went quite well, so I’ve opened it up to an unlimited number of class members.
What the class is
- 6 Videos
- 4 Handouts
- A chance to go from non-knitter to NEW knitter in 2 weeks (or so…)
What the class is NOT
- An advanced Combination Class
- A chance to ask me detailed questions about Combination Knitting*
- A never-ending online knitting group
To join the class you’ll have to click on the button below and go through the check out process, but that’s just to keep the whole thing manageable for me.
FREE knitting class
to your cart
After 2 weeks I’ll kick you out of the class unless you ask for more time. I’ll be happy to give you as much time as you need, but you’ll have to re-ask every 2 weeks (this keeps the class clear of folks who have moved on, but haven’t ‘left’ the class)
I’m working on several new online classes not moving as quickly as I’d like, but when they’re ready I’ll let you guys know!
I’m working on a very frustrating, yet very rewarding piece for Interweave Knits. It’s worked up in Lion Brand stainles steel & wool yarn – it’s the weight of heavy thread – and the knitting can be IMPOSSIBLE in bad light.
The beauty part is that the lacework puts me in mind of the hoarfrost that covered the trees this past week. I know some folks have a knee jerk reaction against cold, but I LOVE living here in Minnesota, it’s so beautiful!
So I’m limited to working on this during daylight hours, which is fine with me because it keeps me from obsessing about it deep into the night. The progress is going pretty quickly, but the shape of the piece is a leap of faith so until it’s finished and put together I’ll be a little anxious about it.
I just finished a crocheted hat for Inside Crochet (a new UK magazine)
I’m in LOVE with this project – it’s just the type of hat I adore (a 1930’s cloche-esque chapeau which should be worn with a slant over one eye) It’s got lots of ribbon embroidery, which I also love. I’m sad to be sending the little fellow off…
I haven’t done a THING on History On Two Needles for weeks, and the guilt is wracking. I’m committing myself to getting schematics created for TWO pieces by Sunday, with skeleton patterns written so I can send them off to knitters. Yes, I will.