Working on that Positive Attitude thing…

(Aug 23 – Sep 22)
You’ve made some important choices recently, but now you may see new options that weren’t available before. You could become increasingly frustrated if you believe that you made a bad decision. However, you have an opportunity today to make additional changes, even if that means temporarily complicating your life. Remember, your situation can change quickly again; don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you’re stuck with what you have when your attitude can actually create a positive impact.

I’m hoping the above is true – I need to work on my attitude right about now, and this is a good reminder that in many ways we create our own [mental] reality.

I’m blue today – I learned yesterday morning that I didn’t get a job which I felt I had a really good shot at.  Apparently they prefer not to hire folks who end sentences in prepositions.

Seriously, though, they went with someone who has more recently been part of a corporate landscape – I’m all maverick-y.  I am who I am.

So, as I told a friend during the whole process (and I was pretty mum about it), “I’ve done the best job I can do at presenting myself honestly and positively – I can do no more.”

I had to do a few ‘assignments’ for my potential employers so they could judge my work (hence the ‘password protected’ blog posts this week) but I guess my work just didn’t measure up to what they wanted.

It’s hard to be rejected.  When you’re self employed as a designer, you spend a lot of time getting rejection notes.  Even if you’re successful, there’s a lot of rejection.

It does get easier – but the initial smack is always hard.

This has happened a few times recently – this job rejection thing.  Obviously I’m not alone – it’s a cold, cold world out there for job seekers.

"Debil" Grain

So I held a pity party for myself yesterday and drowned my sorrows in a piece (O N E small piece) of poppy seed lemon cake at Caribou Coffee (it was delicious, by the way – NOTHING takes the place of wheat flour), and I’ve been suffering with a serious flare up ever since.

I’m an idiot.  And I’d been SO careful during Thanksgiving – SO careful 99% of the time ALL the time!

Maybe I was acting out my largest fear, which is that I’d actually GET one of these jobs I’m applying for and then have a major flare up – unable to walk or move or do much more than sit stiffly in my bed (can’t even knit when I’m really bad…)

Or maybe my not-so-innocent fall into the fibro hole was how I thumb my nose at – who, exactly? Me? The imaginary person I’ve created in my mind who stands there shaking her head (it’s always a woman) at me, telling me that if I really tried I could get a “real” job?

So now I get back on the horse and continue working away. The irony of this is that I just finished 2 projects and I have 3 more waiting on my hook and needles, so I’m as busy as I can be right now…

“Real” job, indeed.

New Stuff

I’d dedicated a lot of time to the stuff I worked up for my interviews, so I didn’t get my two new classes finished by December (as was my goal!) but I’ll keep working on them and maybe I’ll have them up sooner rather than later.

I’m working on a millinery and a colorwork class, and also trying to figure how to offer a group of classes on DVD for folks who’d like to own the techniques.  (of course I’ll keep you posted – don’t I always…?)

Who’s Chicken?

Hen Hat

If you receive my newsletter you got the chicken hat pattern.

And here’s a link to the pdf pattern for my blog readers.

Yes, I know it’s absurd, and it mixes knit with crochet, and I’m sure there’s some religious objection to the whole man-as-chicken thing.

But it’s a pattern that makes me laugh, I worked it up just for fun (and if you’re in the UK and can get Laughing Hens Rooster Yarn then you know how nice the yarn is.)

Of course, this will work up nicely in just about any worsted weight yarn with a bit of elasticity – it’s a friggin’ hat!  Use some red/brown hand painted to work up a nice Rhode Island Red!  Just avoid eating chicken while wearing the hat.

So enjoy the chicken hat – maybe I’ll see a few out there?

9 thoughts on “Working on that Positive Attitude thing…

  1. {hugs} hang in there annie! thank you for making me laugh and smile today. i needed it and i want to see more mixing of knit and crochet and well, not making such a big deal about it.. this is awesome and i hope to make one soon, it’ll be awesome for trail running this winter! 🙂

  2. It took me several years to quit having just a teeny bite of wheat–I apparently had to keep checking that it was actually toxic to my system. So now you’ve checked again, and it, yup, it is indeed toxic.

    I also went through a few times when I put a wheat thing in my mouth, realized how stupid I was being, and spit it out. For those of us who could eat wheat for years, it just takes us a long time to really know that we can’t any more!

  3. I can’t eat potato chips without experiencing swelling in my hands and ankles. I know that so, so well and yet sometimes I eat a couple of chips. You lived most of your life without fibro and you (we) are still getting used to the new “normal”
    Now I want to tell you about a good thing you did. Years ago,you blogged about working out on a Wii. I finally bought the Wii and Wii Fiit and I love it! I have used it every single day for almost three weeks.
    Wait! As they say on TV there’s more. Last week was my birthday and as usual I bought myself a present – Signature Knitting Needles. I had them in my hands for five minutes and went on the net to buy more. I love them. Thanks.

  4. Annie,
    You are special! It sounds like you are making the cut, just not the final cut. Not much consolation, I’m sure, but hang in there as you always do. You manage to figure things out, whether it is a pattern or a crisis.

    I admire the fact that you are so brutally honest with your feelings and events on this blog. I certainly am not capable of bearing my soul to the world the way you do. Keep on keeping on and things will work out for you – they always do!

  5. Per the Poultry Slam/Ducky episode of This American Life… you can eat it, just call it “fish”. Unfortunately I don’t think that works with wheat if you just call it rice 🙁

  6. Annie – Don’t beat yourself up for not getting that job. They may have said “Annie is brilliant, but that other person has that one other thing we need.” You never know what is going through people’s heads when they make hiring decisions and it isn’t necessarily a negative reflection on you but a random reason that made them make the choice. Hang in there!

  7. Sorry about the job; it is demoralizing. After reading last week’s NYT’s story on white collar people who fear they will never work again because of [fill in the blank with just about anything] I’m surprised people weren’t jumping off rooftops. Good for you for presenting yourself as yourself. Their loss!

    Sorry about falling off the wagon. I know the ramifications are different for you, but sometimes when I’m disappointed I just have to have Rocky Road ice cream. Rosacea be damned!

  8. I thought of you when I read Kristin Nicholas’s blog post today. She reported on a project done for her as a student project. She got connected with the students via a service for small businesses. You probably have explored the available help in your area for small businesses, but perhaps Kristin’s post will give you ideas for getting some help with your business.

    Hang in there. You’ll find a new treat for the blues that won’t be “falling off the wagon”. Be patient with yourself.

  9. I’ve been the hiring or recruiting manager who has had to pick one of several highly qualified candidates. It is tough, and a good recruiter feels bad they can’t offer the job to all of the people who they know could do the job, even do it well. Legal issues prevent much feedback in those cases, so even the superstar who got rejected because the other superstar had one small thing that made the decision gets the standard rejection.

    What I’m saying, it is not likely that your work “didn’t measure up”. You are a public figure and I’m sure they checked out your work before you got the first interview let alone the follow-on exploration. This doesn’t mean you don’t have an excuse not to feel bad about not getting the job, of course that feels crappy. But please don’t think it is about your talent – it is likely more about someone else having some other tiny thing that tipped the balance.

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