I got back from Interweave Knitting Lab on Monday night (late flight) and jumped right into family stuff (parent teacher conferences this week, debate club, theater stuff) and also into business stuff (full day seminar on starting a small biz in MN on Thursday offered by St. Paul Score) and feel as though I wasn’t able to catch my breath until Saturday.

I think, after almost 4 years of officially having Fibromyalgia, I’m finally getting a good grip on the strategies for holding energy. The spoons analogy helps me explain this to folks who haven’t suffered this kind of ongoing exhaustion/pain issue.

Even more helpful, at least for a tech head like me, is the iPad battery theory.

With iOS7, Apple’s made a lot of changes in the operating system of the iPad. One aspect I read about often is the low battery problem – the fact that iOS7 tends to run down the batter faster than previous operating systems.

I feel one with my iPad.

My battery runs down SO quickly now. Things I used to not worry about at all are now constantly on my mind. Can I get through this day? Can I lift this suitcase into the overhead compartment? Can I walk all the way down the corridor in this hotel/airport/convention center? Is my exhaustion making me limp/shake/act snappish?

The only way to fight this is to NOT fight it. Fighting takes strength and energy, so instead of fighting I find strategies to make peace with my energy levels, do all I can to raise them, and work hard to NOT waste energy doing all that fun stuff I used to take for granted.

No more going out for drinks with friends in the evening while I teach.

No more days of NOT exercising – I must do something EVERY day if I want to be able to move the next day!

No more eating poorly – I must have good protein, vegs, and not too much sugar because these things affect my energy levels tremendously.

No more ‘doing it all myself’ – I have to ask friends, students, family members for help. Recently at Interweave Knitting Lab my friend Adria stayed by my side to get me to and from each class, and her help was immeasurable. I realized on Sunday in my last class when I actually felt ENERGETIC instead of EXHAUSTED that one huge reason for that difference was Adria’s help – she’s wonderful.

If you don’t hear from me for a few days, generally the reason is that I’m resting a bit, and that I have to put my energy into something other than my blog for the day.

I really miss writing in my blog almost every day, I used to find myself filing away many things that happened to me during the day as ‘blog fodder’ and found great joy and comfort in the comments of my readers.  But the truth is, I just can’t write as often as I used to – which is cool – and I’m grateful to my readers for their kindness and understanding about this change!

Coming up is a big week – I have some great stuff to do, lots of physical work, a few huge submissions to get through and some family stuff (all good) to deal with. I am SO fortunate that I have a good friend/partner in crime to help me with a lot of the business stuff (thank you Kathleen!) and even MORE fortunate that I have an amazing husband and great kids who also help.

So look for some great news this week, a really TERRIFIC book giveaway, and – if all goes well – at least three nice blog posts!

Now go out and enjoy this great November Sunday! Thank a veteran (and their family!) and spend some time reflecting on how much better this nation could treat our warriors. And take some time to rest up – it’s a big week ahead!

And me? I need to get my bike ONTO the trainer so I can ride indoors every day until Spring comes. Gerry very kindly wrestled it downstairs to the basement for me (where my office is) – now it’s up to ME to get it on the trainer and RIDE it!

7 thoughts on “Recovery

  1. You are certainly not alone, Annie. I keep thinking I should be able to hit the ground running, but have learned that’s the way to hit a wall {wry grin}. And the matter of eating while traveling: so important–the right foods at the right times make all the difference. That and exercise and quiet and sleep. Enjoy your rest. I am coming to the conclusion that it counts as “work,” because it makes the other types possible.

  2. I just downloaded Issue 65 of the UK’s The Knitter. The editor’s note describes you as “legendary American designer, Annie Modesitt…”
    It’s true! Your productivity despite your physical limitations is really to be admired. And I like the patterns too.

  3. It’s good to know that you had someone to help you at the knitting lab … and that you are managing your energy levels and not fighting them. My husband struggles with chronic fatigue (and deafness and double vision and vertigo, and mood and memory and speech issues) as a result of a brain tumour (now removed), and he also has to – well – husband his resources daily and almost minute by minute, as it will take him three days to recover from one day of overdoing things. The spoons analogy is a very good one.

    I hear you about the trainer – mine is sitting across the room mutely reproaching me as I have not been on it yet. (I took an actual road ride Sunday which was a mistake as wind chills were WAY colder than I was equipped to deal with.) Good luck and good training this winter! 🙂

  4. I love your comment about not fighting fibro. Not only is it a huge waste of precious energy, but what we resist persists, and fighting is extreme resistance. Instead, it is wiser to accept what is, to learn from it, and then evolve with it.

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