Friends + Andy

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that without my friends + Andy, I would not be here right now.

From the immediate, jaw-dropping LOVE response when I was first diagnosed through the many small gifties and visits from local friends, to the actual financial donations that have kept our heads above water these past 9 months (thank you, thank you, thank you!) and the ‘cleaning crew’ and ‘cooking crew’ love from members of my knitting group (thank you so much, ladies!) i have no idea what state we would be in right now.

There have been many days when Andy is at their wit’s end.  Andy is essentially dealing with a rather large, middle aged BABY who needs feeding and cleaning and entertaining.  At the same time, Andy has taken over the financial, legal, emotional and other necessary paperwork/office visits surrounding long-time disability and recent widowhood, which would be a huge job for an older person, forget a 22 year old just out of college!

Andy is amazing, but this job is a huge one and there are times it’s been TOO BIG.  Now that my mental state is returning to pre-cancer levels and I can actually REMEMBER when I’ve signed a form, or made a visit to a bank, the nuts and bolts of Andy’s job will be getting easier and easier.

A mind is a terrible thing to lose, I’m glad to be getting my own back.

Caring for a family member with cancer, who is struggling with the residual effects of chemo therapy, is NEVER easy.  The fact that Andy does it with such grace is astounding, and the few times that they lose their temper or feel overwhelmed are more than validated by their hard work during all of the other times.

When Max was home for the holidays he stepped up, but it’s hard to just insert someone into a routine, so of course Andy ended up doing yeoman work all through the holidays.  It did give them a bit of respite, though, and we’re looking forward to that this Summer when Max is home for the entire season.

Because I’m doing so much better, and because Andy is in NEED of a respite, they’ve arranged to go visit some college friends for a week at the end of Feb, and will be bringing one friend home to help them with some projects they’ve started.

Who knew my kid had a skill for laying out a room, organizing a basement or creating a really good flow for a home office.  They’ve also showing some skill with the power tools, which gives me a sense of pride since I’ve always loved me a DeWalt Drill.

We’re lining up folks to come and check in on me / stay with me during Andy’s absence. I think we’re pretty much covered now, and that also warms my heart.  My business partner, Kathleen, has been amazing with her visits, and her ever-ready help for Andy.

  Kathleen will be staying with me for almost a week, during which time we will watch EVERY episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race and Outlander. 

Just try and stop us…

So although I am still light years from where I want to be, I do feel myself getting better every day, and that is almost ENTIRELY due to the hard work of Andy and our friends.  (Of course, the doctors and nurses had something to do with it, I’m speaking pretty much about at-home help…)

I still can’t walk easily, my legs are numb and I almost fall all the time.  Almost.  That’s a very important word.  I don’t get downstairs as often as I’d like due to balance and exhaustion issues, but I do what I can, and I walk around upstairs quite a bit each day.  The more I walk, the better my legs feel!

I cannot WAIT for warmer weather so I can walk outside!!
I don’t like to set time-goals because that can lead to disappointment,
but I’m thinking I may be AT LEAST six months away from any kind of bike joy.
I’ll live with that.  I kind of have to…

And today a few very dear friends are coming over to help us clean the house.  This has been a pretty regular thing, thank heavens, because aside from sweeping up a broken glass that the cats knocked onto the floor, there’s not really a lot that I can do to keep the house clean.

I wouldn’t say I’m a clean-freak, but I DO care whether my house is clean, even though I’m in bed more than I’m OUT of bed each day.  Andy does their best, but keeping the house clean is really the least of what they should be worrying about, so we’re VERY grateful to Ellen and Lisa, who are coming over today, with their mops and rubber gloves.

And me? I’ll be SITTING UP IN A CHAIR in my room.  Andy’s rearranged it so that there’s a rocking chair at the foot of my bed, and I’ve been taking advantage of it by sitting up for an hour or so each day.  Just a month ago I couldn’t sit up for more than 15 minutes – huzzah!!

If this sitting up ability keeps growing, maybe I’ll be able to go to a movie with Andy??  There are several local theaters that have recliners and stadium seating,
maybe that would work? 

I need to feel that my physical strength will stand up to 30 minutes of riding in a car each way and 2 hours of movie, but it would be so nice to see How To Train Your Dragon 3 since it’s a family movie series we both love.

8 thoughts on “Friends + Andy

  1. Baby steps! You are doing great!

    Andy is flat-out amazing! Wow!! I’m so glad that they are getting a break this month, too, and that there has been the help you need and deserve.

    You will climb out of this hole, and while the world has changed so much while you’ve been down there, things will be even just a little bit better because you’re up top.

  2. Like my Italian relatives always say, Piano, Piano. Means gently, gently, though some good piano music wouldn’t hurt, eh? Andy and your friends just purely ROCK! you may quote me. So glad you’re strong enough now to sit up longer and to blog and to come back out of the brain fog. Much love to you, Annie. I feel like it’s now safe to let loose with a GIANT ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRR of approval and encouragement!

  3. You are a warrior! God bless you! Chemo brain is tough but you are improving. You are more tough and headed in the right direction. Hurray for you!!

  4. I cannot help but tell you that when you feel better, we heal a little bit too. It’s that surge of hope that pulls all of us up with you. I hope you can really feel us behind you! Now a word for all of us who read and love Annie to step back up again. I’m leaving this area to go directly to her “Go fund me” area to give a little. If all of us can give “a little” again, we’ll give Annie a concrete way to feel our love and continued support for her recovery. Let’s go gang – – it’ll come back to us when we need it! I believe that.

    • Thank you so much, Marietta! For the lovely wishes, and for the mention of gofundme and my paypal fundraiser. I’m constantly stunned at how expensive the copays are for dr visits and drugs, so thank you so much!

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