I love snow, which is one of the reason I love Minnesota so much! Of course, as soon as we moved out here from New Jersey the weather went nuts and now they get as much snow as Minnesota does. Oh, well… Live and learn!
I am at what I consider the HARDEST part of recovery. I’m just well enough to be a little bit active (walking around the house, staying awake for stretches of 4 hours at a time, getting my appetite back) but I’m NOT well enough to act on those impulses! My long, long walk through a downtown corporate maze yesterday made me acutely aware of how big my dreams are, and how weak my legs are. Damn you, weak, weak legs.
I see my doctor next week, so I’ll get a reality check from him on where exactly I should be. He told me when I was in the hospital that I was progressing nicely, but I worry. It just seems like I’m in a holding pattern, and I have to FORCE myself to look back on where I was a month ago to truly appreciate how special it is to be able to walk WITHOUT A CANE to the bathroom. Yippee!
I’m learning to use my medical marijuana to best effect, so I get the optimum pain relief. Two days ago I forgot to take my 6am pain pills and I cannot believe how terrible I felt by the time my next pain pill appointment came around. THAT is a mistake that I won’t make again, lordy how I need those pain pills simply to be able to LAY in bed, forget about getting up and walking, going to the bathroom, etc… I hate to be reliant on them, but I’m VERY glad that I have them.
Andy and I have started a new evening ritual. She just finished the last Golden Compass Trilogy book and I have the newest Philip Pullman book on audio file (la Belle Sauvage) So we listened to a nice chunk of it last night in my room at bed time, it was like being read to by some uber-dad who pronounces EVERYTHING beautifully. I fell asleep, but I’ve already read (listened to) the book, so I’m cool if I miss a bit.
Andy’s been working on her leaf art, which is getting more and more compelling. When the light is better I’ll take some nice photographs of her pieces and post them, they’re abstracts made of leafs and leaf parts, the colors are very lovely. I worry that Andy will become so bored caring for me that she’ll be sad; I’m NOT the most fascinating patient in the world. I also worry that she may feel she’s falling behind her friends from college who are getting apartments and jobs. She’s got neither, she just takes care of me, and I am very grateful for that.
I don’t think I can actually go out into the snow, I slip and fall SO easily, but maybe Andy will bring me in a bowl of it and I can play around with that? I hope as it gets warmer my legs will grow stronger and I’ll be walking outside without a cane in the Springtime!