Nadir

My oncologist used the word “Nadir” to describe the point I’m at right now, which sounds more poetic, and a bit more scary, when said with a Czech accent.  Hell, LIFE is better when said with a Czech accent…

The process I’m going through is very similar to what we experience when Gerry had his Stem Cell Transplant in 2007.  For a period of time, his body was built up with blood transfusions, antibiotics, platelets, and then he was left to let all of that goodness pump him up.

THEN they came back at him with an extremely high dose chemo, although his infusions were just over 3 days.  They basically took a baseball bat to his immune system, trying to keep him as strong and as pain-free as possible during the chemo

My own chemo took place over 5 days, 1 day off/ 1 day on, so it waa 3 full days of the chemo, but divided up to make it a bit easier to deal with.

In my case, it wasn’t until about 5 days after my last chemo, or Day 10, that I began to feel REALLY terrible.  Days 7-9 were pretty low, but Day 10 was hellish.  I’ve been unable to eat simply because I cannot stand to smell food, so I’ve been getting my calories from the Kirkland protein milkshakes, which seems to be working well.  I can keep them down, and they fill me up enough that I don’t wake up hungry.

Recently I’ve been adding cut up apples a few times a day, which is so comforting.  I love Apples.  I can also keep them by my bed, cut up and ready to eat, to snack on when I wake up.

Today’s experiment is a roast beef sandwich that Andy’s bringing.  I’m hoping the smell is not too strong, and that I can get a good bit of the sandwich down!

I could use the energy boost of a good roast beef sandwich; I’m SERIOUSLY exhausted (but better than I was yesterday.) The exhaustion is very, very difficult to deal with.  The Physical Therapy folks would like me to get up and walk around a bit each day, and that’s a valid goal, but the energy involved in managing a walker and my IV pole can be absolutely nuts.  I took a short walk yesterday, and was proud of myself, but once I got back to the room I crawled into bed and did NOT move from position I landed in for over 6 hours.  Just me, clutching the covers, waiting for a bit more energy.

Monday I’ll be getting a Bone Marrow Biopsy in the OR so they can sedate me (I’m nothing but trouble…) and I am crossing my fingers that whatever positive numbers they’re looking for in my marrow will be bright and shiny and perfect!

The goal we’re working toward is a Bone Marrow Transplant, which is what Gerry had, although I haven’t talked about it at length with any of the oncologists.  They — wisely — adopt a ‘wait and see’ attitude so we’re not putting the cart before the horse.

Well, speaking of horses, my lunch is here and I’m ready to strap on the feed bag.  Wish me luck as I attempt to have a roast beef sandwich!  Thank goodness for Andy!!

 

7 thoughts on “Nadir

  1. Hope you were able to enjoy your food. I remember wanting certain things, then couldn’t enjoy them. Will be thinking of you on Monday and hoping all goes well with your Bone Marrow test! Think positive!

  2. I’d be happy to make a modest donation to boarding fees but the PayPal link does not bring me to a link for you. What name or email address or phone number would I use to find you on PayPal?

  3. God bless Andy is right! S/he’s a godsend, no matter which pronoun is appropriate at the time.

    I hope the sandwich went down and stayed where it should.

    We love you. We care about you. We wait for you to rise, phoenix-like, from the cancer and live a long, healthy and happy life.

  4. Are you supposed to lose that beautiful head of hair again? Just wondering…….I’m pretty overwhelmed by your account of everything and don’t know much supportive stuff right now. Just virtual hugs, boundlessly!!

  5. Annett,

    Continue to think about you and hope you are recuperating from recent Chemo. Very difficult not to get discouraged, I had to learn to just move forward each day and trust my Drs/nurses!!

    Vicki Meisterhans

  6. Annie,

    Haven’t seen an update on your progress…..hope you are feeling stronger! Think of you often!

    Vicki Meisterhans (Joyce’s friend)

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